The Pink Peach Tree, Vincent van Gogh, 1888

the goal of coming was to heal and "fix" myself

9 doctors

38 visits

5 hospitals

5 clinics

for teeth, gastro, chiro, and skin

-> RM 40.1k

I'm pretty sure I beat some record for the most doctors visited within 6 months for someone that's only 22.

I was going to write a longer post about what I learned the past 6 months, but I'm a major procrastinator and have not finished packing and I have to get up early tomorrow.

my anxiety was growing as this day inched closer and closer. I was rushing to leave the first few months I was back, and now I don't feel like leaving anymore. Maybe it's the fear of the unknown, or the guilt from the insane cost for my studies, or the expectations and goals I have set for myself that I'm afraid I can't meet, or the fact that I won't be around my family and friends anymore, or all of the above.

I wanted to achieve so much coming back, but I'm leaving with unmet goals and unfinished projects that make me feel like a failure.

But what I regret more is not spending quality time with my family, meeting up with more friends, and enjoying my time, doing what I love and resting well.

Now, I can only remember the love of my family and friends, and how blessed I am, even with all the inconvenience and medical issues and pain, I have a good life.

And it's about to be better. The most important things are to take care of my health and well-being, but still put in the work and do my best. And to have faith in myself and in God, and the rest will follow.