some questions in my head

why is my bed so comfortable?
why are all my dreams so distressing and anxious?
why do I have to leave Malaysia? why can't I be happy and content here? What is in the US that cannot exist here? Can it ever exist here?
how much of the movie was green screen vs real-life? how much will AI make filming in real life an aesthetic than a necessity?
how did john krasinski learn to direct a film?
would i have the strength to fight cancer? will I just be depressed and terrified the entire time?
when can I visit New York again?
if an apocalypse happens when I'm in SF, what will I do? can I even survive?
is it possible for a cat to be that quiet?
what is the loudest I can scream?
should I get an ipod nano?
why is it that I wish I had curly hair whenever I see a guy with curly hair?
can every cancer patient have someone like Eric in their final moments? business idea?
what will be the equivalent of "pizza after piano jazz shows" for my parents?
why does taking one wrong turn in KL add 30 minutes? why are the roads so badly designed?
would I have the courage to pursue my dreams? to not have a plan for my life? a career?
would I ever write a song one day?
why is it so hard to sketch people? what technique am I lacking? is it possible to learn technique from self-practice? or do I need to be taught?
how to sketch without fear of making mistakes? how to have full confidence in every stroke? is it just a mindset?
how does one create their own style and not go for the details every time?
why is sitting alone in a crowded and open restaurant so distressing?
why is it so hard for me to let loose and just have fun in conversations? why must it be deep or practical?
how to becoming more responsive and lively? is this a skill I can nurture or just a mindset?
how to come up with funny responses to jokes? is it a "the more conversations you have, the better you get" kind of thing? or is it learned from media?
why am I so awkward? how do I be less awkward in a way that's not sacrificing my authentic self?
why am I so intimidated by certain people? is that a sign of something? how do I conquer it?
what determines a healthy family? from the parents? can the children change the parents? can generational trauma be cured?
how can a family develop better communication styles? is it a point of no return?
when's the next time I will be back in malaysia?
what will I be like when I'm 30? where will I be?
how do I blog without staying up? will I have the time to do this once I start school in SF?

BENEDICT NEO 梁耀恩

some questions in my head