Young man, be not forgetful of prayer. Every time you pray, if your prayer is sincere, there will be new feeling and new meaning in it, which will give you fresh courage, and you will understand that prayer is an education.
[...]
Brothers, have no fear of men's sin. Love a man even in his sin, for that is the semblance of Divine Love and is the highest love on earth. Love all God's creation, the whole and every grain of sand in it. Love every leaf, every ray of God's light. Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. Once you perceive it, you will begin to comprehend it better every day. And you will come at last to love the whole world with an all-embracing love.
from Conversations and Exhortations of Father Zossima, (g) Of Prayer, of Love, and of Contact with other Worlds.
too many projects and schoolwork and mini tasks that make me context switch. like the energy lost in the delivery of electricity through the grid, i burn mental energy when i switch tasks.
theres arc agi, improving my resume, studying up on the grid, on time series, building minitorch, learning ai, practicing python, my class homeworks, the asia bridge fellowship, articles i haven't wrote for the entire month, books that are collecting dust on my desk, so many little things that i easily switch around once i face something hard, or i just get distracted by. i need to be more disciplined with my time.
i suppose life now is full of possibility, but also full of chaos, which task is the most important thing? what is guiding my attention? am i led by obligations (SHOULD) or curiosity and joy? i want to wake up early in the morning and study with intense focus on one thing, and then spend the afternoon enjoying music, reading paris review, taking walks, exercising, napping, sketching, writing, cooking. this is the ideal life. to be able to work on what you love in the wee hours, and once you've done all you can for the day, set it aside and pursue soul-replenishing tasks.