Willpower, that which makes one grit one's teeth if need be and endure suffering, is the principal weapon of the apprentice engaged in manual labour. But contrary to what is usually thought, it has almost no place in study. The intelligence can only be led by desire. For there to be desire, there must be pleasure and joy. The intelligence only grows and bears fruit in joy. The joy of learning is as essential in studies as breathing is for runners. Where it is absent, there are no students, only poor caricatures of apprentices who at the end of their apprenticeship will not even have a trade.

simone weil – "reflections on the right use of school studies" in waiting for god

air mattress leaking. researched mattress for 2 hours. ended up taking a bet on nectar. finally having a real bed after 2 months. my hip pain might have something to do with that. i have to endure a whole week of the leaky air mattress, waking up to a deflated bed, the worst feeling ever. started my linear regression homework and planned to finish today, worried about not putting enough effort into understanding the material and wanting to get it done asap which would make the exams harder for myself. got distracted and started shopping on temu. the algorithm is so good, it knows my taste. checkered rug, matisse art, nordic lamps, ended up working on arc agi kaggle until 2am. it's not working well. but i need to remind myself, the goal was to have results. not a perfect solution. not even a great solution. just a working solution. ship to learn.

im currently rabbit hole-ing into the electricity grid. it would be cool to work at kevala. the word is in my head a lot lately. its a good problem to work on. its not ads or optimizing clicks, its about powering the world. its about the future of energy. its about how to ensure energy is delivered to the right place at the right time, efficiently. when led by desire, learning is fun. its joyful. curiosity beats willpower any day.