For so many people, vulnerability is inseparable from fear. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I understood that fear of my mom not picking me up from piano practice was the same fear that flashed through me when a friend or partner answered my text late. This sense of: what in the world am I going to do if you abandon me?

It’s true that life is a series of abandonments. Also true is the Saul Bellow line that life is a series of “unexpected intrusions of beauty."

I believe that complicated arrangements can work for a long period of time. When people talk about how communes, book clubs, platonic life partnerships don’t work, I’m always more focused on the ones that do. I’m always thinking: isn’t there a way we could keep going?

– ava

DSA class was MST. flashbacks to the algorithm design class at ISU. that class was pretty interesting, although it's alarming how little i can recall from it. even though i got an A.

free ferry ride to richmond, SF and the two bridges: oakland and golden gate in sight as the skyline slowly reduces to just an outline. the sky purple and pink, the sun turning into a warm fuzzy orange ball. i'm grateful my family is here with me.

went to chinatown night market with family. got hunan food

goofy effects on photobooth app with family.

booked another car for tomorrow

continued working on my paper summary app. it's like i'm possessed when i work on a new project. an idea in my head that won't die until i see it come to life. i love building apps. i should start utilizing claude and cursor to make ios apps

bridgit mendler is such an inspiration. a perfect example of how you can do just do things (given the opportunity and capability), do more side quests, work on interesting and useful problems, do great work.