Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but, most of all, endurance.

– James Baldwin

felt so dead upon waking up, body was sore down to my bones, had to literally drag myself to class.

intro to ml class is the entire section. i was looking over the entire class, thinking about how, in a year, everyone in this room will be at different companies, different states, maybe even countries, we might pass by on the streets, but i'll probably never see them again in my life. the friend circle was already been solidified, everyone else will just be acquaintances, the type of friends where you have small talk in the elevator about classes and exams, but nothing further.

been trying to work on my rag project over my blogs. decided on qdrant as vector db and cohere r for chat, embedding, and ranking. the hard part will be integrating with next.js and hosting the backend somewhere. but the QnA should be straightforward. getting blocked by tiredness and context switching between different possible solutions. the hardest part of starting a project is defining the MVP. what is the simplest solution that works, and using what? stop trying to use the "best" thing, just go with what works best for a proof of concept, then optimize after.

went to jtown with S to buy stuff from daiso, and also a gift for H. there's so many little trinkets here, got distracted by minor life improving items, like a protector for my iphone camera and a hook to put my bag instead of putting it on the floor on the living room, and 2.25 bold unsweetened green tea by ito en just to taste the boldness.

ended up at the Kimochi shop and bought a tiny oil painting by a local sf artist, internally debated with myself whether it was a good deal. never bought art before in real life, so was very unsure of myself. i have a major case of scarcity mindset and i'm allergic to spending money for anything other than necessities and food.

recommended by the japanese lady to buy iichiko shochu. today i learned about shochu, which is distilled instead of fermented like sake, and has higher alcohol content, and can be made from from not just rice, but also barley and sweet potato.

bund shanghai restaurant had really good food. xiaolongbao, pan fried buns, 东坡肉, rice cakes, shansi leng mian (eel cold noodles), crab roe tofu, and other dishes i can't remember the names

came home and started feeling intense confusion, missed home and people, had out of body experiences, loss of identity and meaning and purpose, spiralling, afraid, frustrated, lost, uncontrollably crying, sentimental, melancholic, all emotions jumbled up together that i couldn't snap out of. watching howls' moving castle helped bring me back.

talked to mom and it's the same topics about my sister and her faith, about life and relationships, about church. i should be more attentive to her, i wish my family could be in one place. i hope all of us can be in sf soon.

felt very unaccomplished and procrastinated sleep until 3 a.m. probably going to regret it tomorrow.