15 Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise—the fruit of lips that openly profess his name. 16 And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.

– Hebrews 13:15-16

went to the english service for the methodist church. the people were friendly. A lot of them grew up in this church, so it was interesting to see all of them interact with each other and me being sort of the outsider. i had a good chat with a young couple with a 2 year old. they grew up in that church, and both their families are around in sf. the conversations revolved around career and family: why sf, why iowa, what to see in Malaysia, the best coffee in SF, raising a kid, etc.

it's interesting when interacting with new people, it's sort of like a performance, i have to get my accent right, look friendly and smile, laugh at what they say, say the right things, answer the questions properly, don't say anything offensive, be nice and kind, ask appropriate questions, be curious. i get worried that i'll mess up in the process, and they'll not want to talk to me, and that it gives me anxiety. that's how conversations feel like a risk for me. i have a deep sense of wanting to be liked, which sometimes might come at the cost of authenticity and putting on a mask.

the conversations made me think about the sacrifices you make if you're not born in the US. If i do ever have kids, I want them to grow up here in the US to cultivate a sense of ambition and curiosity, while maintaining the sense of culture and language that you get in malaysia.