Daniel Pennac, a French writer, said: "Le temps s'arrête quand on lit. Comme quand on aime."

Roughly translates to English as: "Time stops when you read. As when you love.

gym-ed for the first time after almost 7 months, so insecure when high school students are in the gym are stronger than me. but i think my first set went well. I need a more structured routine. i need to streamline when i cook my meals, when i make my protein shake, when i call friends and family, when i do writing, when i code, when i go to events, when i study. lots of variables to optimize.

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passed by warm springs and it brought back some familiar memories and feelings I used to have back then. i would be travelling back from SF. i was a differenet person back then. different problems, different wants and needs. it’s scary how much one year can change someone, but one year is a lot of time. I’m getting older, i have to start priotitizing, my decisions hold more weight now, my words and actions will start to determine the kind of person I am, my identity will start to shape into something solid, not malleable and spongy

remember Ben. POSITIVE and BRIEF. the only two things you need to keep in mind when someone asks you something. AVOID NEGATIVITY and make it SHORT. don’t complain. don’t go into the details. just focus on the good things. there’s enough negativity in the world.

next time before meeting friends i need to start practicing some answers in my head. i also need to remind myself of some common courtesy, asking people what their name is, introducing myself and saying goodbye to everyone directly to their faces. smile, and be kind hearted. compliment people. it’s so hard to socialize in a group of 10 tho, i am so bad already with a group of 3. i can’t be put on the spot, i get a major case of spotlight effect. also I need to be better at telling stories, i guess I don’t talk to people enough, or people dont ask me questions. when people ask me things, I often answer so badly, when it comes out of my mouth i start cringing at the things I say. I don’t know how to fix that. how to i have charisma? I also need to participate in conversations, I often just let other people talk, when I can inject my own opinions and thoughts, I guess I never did that much when I was growing up, which makes it hard now. I feel like my opinion doesn’t matter? or that I might say something dumb?

also i realize hanging out with friends is going to cost money, and it's really bad to quantify how much it costs to hang out. it reduces the relationship down to the quantifiable, when you can't put a price tag on friendships. but it's also hard since i'm not earning anything as a student, and i'm using my dad's money to have a good time.

so grateful for M for driving me back to home, was feeling so anxious about getting back late and not being fully prepared for quiz tomorrow, i’m glad I met him.