on sick days

August 4, 2024


“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Ben, next time you’re sick, stop trying to study that linear algebra test and feeling anxious that you’re not taking anything in. Stop wondering if you’re able to finish it today even though you wanted to really badly. You won’t be able to do it. You can try, but your head will be buzzing and your eyes will be burning, and you’ll just be context switching (more than usual), watching olympic highlight videos, or reading the Paris Review Interviews books on your table, feeling like an absolute failure. Instead of trying to compensate this lack of success with some other activity that also requires mental effort, like making cheat sheets for the upcoming exams, or writing articles, or doing side projects that might help you land a job, just to feel a tiny bit productive, or feel like you accomplished something for the day, do this instead. Reach out to friends, sketch random things, read for pleasure without the guilt of not doing something more productive with your time, go to the rooftop and get some sunlight and take some deep breaths, take more naps, watch youtube videos for fun, laugh a little. I know you’re someone that vehemently participates in the achievement society, and not doing anything “useful” the entire day in SF sounds like the worst day in the world, but see it as an opportunity to give yourself a time of rest, to obey the Sabbath, to remind yourself that health is important and to never sacrifice it for money, and to be grateful for the people in your life, and be okay with not doing. and to talk to your parents.