Charles Duhigg shares some insights into how to be come a supercommunicator in episode 133. of Think Fast, Talk Smart: From Good to Great: How Supercommunicators Unlock the Secrets to Connection.
He shares the three types of conversations
- practical
- making decisions, solve problems, making plans
- emotional
- sharing problems but not wanting solutions, seeking for connection and empathy from others
- social
- how we relate to each other, to society, how society sees us, how our backgrounds and where we grew up and our experiences shape who we are today.
If two people are having a different kind of conversation, they don't connect.
Supercommunicators can notice what kind of conversation is going on. They look for the little clues and cues that tells them, i.e. this person is talking about something that seems practical, but they're feeling something. This is an emotional conversation. Or that person is talking about a plan they want to make, but it has to do how other people see them or how they see themselves.