original painting source unknown (if anyone knows please DM me!)
- woke up first thing today and felt a lot of mixed emotions, tint of sadness, it's been like this lately. I'm realizing that soon, when I wake up, it won't be in this house that I grew up in, with my family around me.
- I laid in bed for an hour on my phone again, it's such a hard habit to break. Future me is suffering the consequences of current me wasting all that time being comfortable.
- decided to finish up my sketch while having breakfast and it took me almost 2 hours. perfectionism is a curse. I also thought it was June for some reason.
- my mom and sister actually has good eye and can tell what is good/bad and what needs correction. everyone is an artist.
- being able to sketch on a Monday morning without any pressure or responsibilities (that is external and high stakes) is such a blessing and one that I strive for in my future life
- I kept context switching in hopes of finishing everything but I end up only doing 10-20% in each thing. Not sure if going all in on just one thing is good too. I was exploring different ideas and brainstorming.
- I've been ruminating over the same thing, playing movies in my head, for the past few weeks when I should just write things down, it would help me so much but I just don't do it.
- I have a feeling that the heat and humidity is a large factor for my headaches and dizziness. Because I realized I never was like this back in Ames. Something happened since I came back, well a lot of things happened, but I hope going back to SF means I'm more energized and productive.
- had a walk with my sister around the flats and saw how life would be if I didn't have a hard-working dad who spent his entire life supporting us and making sure we'll have a good future. living in a bubble is the surest way to feel ungrateful and be seeking for more.
- monkey bars are so hard, I heard my arms crack, but I actually did it after 3 tries. I'm so old.
- after my surgery I feel more afraid of undoing the wrap, and shortening the 5-10 year cure that I was given. I'm always testing my limits but I'm worried about pushing too hard, which sucks as a 20 something year old.
- I watched a cat poop in amazement like I'm an alien, and I found it funny and slightly concerning that I'm going crazy
- been feeling like a failure lately from browsing twitter, more dejecting than inspiring, could be a mindset issue
- been worrying that I won't be as ambitious or smart or talented to fit in with the SF crowd
- I've been craving kimchi in my meals and I'm so glad I get to eat it.
- this week feels really overwhelming with the launch and the kaggle assignment, and trip planning and articles to finish. but busy is good. I should start picking up the pace to prep myself for my masters.