Ecclesiastes v13-14: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind. For God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil.

finished reading Ecclesiastes with T. might be my first time reading an entire book since high school when i was forced to memorize Luke and Acts for a test. its nice to be kept accountable, to ponder about what the words mean, to be curious about everything, uncovering the hidden meaning between the lines, relating it back to my own life, and growing myself spiritually. the entire book drives home the point of how everything of this world is essentially meaningless, and instead of looking at it from a pessimistic and absurdist point of view, it taught me to not be so attached to things, to material gains and to pleasure. and to remind myself of the shortness of life, and to appreciate the people around me.

it was surreal being at the party and meeting everyone, i experienced firsthand what i read in this substack article:

On Silicon Valley’s intellectual culture:

But intelligence is only one of the two altars worshiped in Silicon Valley. The other is action. The founders of the Valley invariably think of themselves as men of action: they code, they build, disrupt, they invent, they conquer. This is a culture where insight, intelligence, and knowledge are treasured—but treasured as tools of action, not goods in and of themselves.

If the Washington intellectual aims for authority and expertise, the Silicon Valley intellectual seeks novel or counter-intuitive insights. He claims to judge ideas on their utility; in practice I find he cares mostly for how interesting an idea seems at first glance.

it was also my first time taking a shot of vodka, and a white claw as a chaser (the drink after the shot to flush out the aftertaste of strong liqueur). i experienced a bit of buzz yesterday drinking red wine, but this was intense.

i remember being in a conversation, and everything around me started to slow down, i got really dizzy, and my head felt like a balloon. i had to sit down. it was like i had a third person perspective of myself and of the entire party. my social anxiety was killed. all my inhibitions and overthinking that went "should i say this", "should i say hi to that person" were muted. i just said things. the buzz felt really good. when it started to die down, i remember wanting more of it. if i never got GERD, i probably would become an alcoholic. then again, i wouldn't want alcohol to be an unlock for my social adaptation and fluency, i want to be able to do this sober. if i needed it every time i want to talk to more people, then its a crutch, its an addiction. maybe just one shot is the way to go.