can't get result to work still. feeling frustrated and demotivated. met with prof twice today, final resort is to just train on the downstream task. alignment is not being proven right now. i feel like i'm so close. like i'm one parameter or loss function choice away from striking gold. went to gym finally after two weeks. i haven't been able to do legs since the injury.

bible study at 9:15 p.m. with my church reading chinese. i had the verses on one side and google translate on the other. only later on did i find this tool to give me pinyin.

i've dropped everything else for this research. my reading routine, my blog routine. it's unhealthy, but I need this abstract to be done. it's my purpose.

i'll keep praying hard. but i've come to accept it if i don't as well, because nothing else have given me this much drive to try to finetune a model, and prove that it works better. i learned a lot in the process, and my mistakes and learnings will serve me well in the future.