"What is the point of worrying oneself too much about what one could or could not have done to control the course one's life took? Surely it is enough that the likes of you and I at least try to make our small contribution count for something true and worthy. And if some of us are prepared to sacrifice much in life in order to pursue such aspirations, surely that in itself, whatever the outcome, cause for pride and contentment."

― Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day

• i need to stop slipping into reverie and thinking about what i want to achieve and just do things, it’s wasting so much time. my eyes were so tired today, and my brain so slow, that i kept imagine myself doing things that i wanted to do and from an outsider's perspective i'm just sitting at the library staring into nothingness. i bet a bystander at the library just sees a stressed out kid who looks like he needs a break and some friends.
• i was walking home facetiming my parents and i was close to falling asleep, i could barely keep my eyes open. i was so done with everything. i don't think i slept well today. or i'm not letting my brain rest, i have no in-between times. i'm always on the go. one thing to the next. maybe i'm consuming too much all the time. i need more social interactions. the right conversations are so healing and invigorating. i wish i had friends to cowork with at the library.

a few good reminders from cosmos

• one day at a time
• you still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want
• success is a decision
• your energy is sacred
• feel the fear and do it anyway
• do what is right for you. do it over and over again. lean into the light. do not let doubt stop you. trust the process when your mood is low. let growth be your mission.
• simplicity is complexity resolved

bible verse from pemuda (youth service)

matthew 5:16 NIV: in the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven

gambling is considered stealing in the bible?