"Whenever we touch nature we get clean. People who have got dirty through too much civilization take a walk in the woods, or a bath in the sea. Entering the unconscious, entering yourself through dreams, is touching nature from the inside and this is the same thing, things are put right again – Carl Jung

i spent the day watching 6 lectures after missing classses in the second half of semeseter. i prefer watching the recordings, because i get to watch them at 2x speed, and i can pause whenever i don't understand something, and because of the quiz, i'm forced to write everything down, everything. it's a good practice to internalize everything better. i wish my dad was pouring his life savings into a better quality education, but a lot of the value that comes from anything is what we make out of it, and i'm also at fault for not putting in more effort. i'm actually a fan of proofs, they're very elegant. seeing how something works fundamentally is satisfying, and the gratification is higher than the actual grade in the end. i wonder training my brain for math and ml concepts acutally builds my capabilities to learn harder things. i assume so if my brain is plastic and is constantly adapting. i'm always afraid (and lazy) to get started and learn hard things. it's a muscle i have to train.